So I was talking to my cousin yesterday and we were discussing paths people take in life. Mine is not like his. His is not like yours. The more we talked, the more I started to wonder how much the path matters. As long as I am allowing myself to be led by GOD my path is fine. This is what I tell myself anyway.
Of course I didn't start out by following the Word of the LORD. HE has always been a part of my life, but most definitely not the focal point. HE has been in last place. Thankful HE had my back even then and I have been finding my way ever since. My path has been bumpy and I have upset some people. Maybe many people. The upsetting didn't bother me as much as the disappointing did. I have always worried about disappointing people. I don't voice it much and for the most part I am happy in life. I see my blessings everyday. Still disappointment lingers because I am not on the path that most would have me take. I try to be righteous. Not self righteous but righteous. But then I start to wonder. Am I just making excuses? Maybe people are right and I am just scared. So I ponder and ponder. I think it's a little of both. I had to share my thoughts today because so many of you respond to my blog. So many of you tell me that I inspire you. I want you to know that it doesn't take a special person to inspire. While I am inspiring you, you may be inspiring someone else. And it is okay to have moments of weakness when people are watching. Maybe you are not exactly where you want to be. Some days you're okay with it because you can personally see your progress and you know GOD knows the whole story. Other days you're kinda worn out. You want to rush things or wish you could go back and take that other road.
At this very moment I feel progressive yet stagnant. Does anyone know what I mean? I tell myself I am still waiting for a word from GOD and I act while waiting. Other times I believe HE has spoken to me and I am just being lazy. I'm not doing enough.
Bricks and feathers as I have said in the past. I have friends who will move after hearing a whisper or being lightly tapped on the shoulder by a feather. I need bells and whistles, sirens and horns. And even still at times I require a brick upside the head. I know what I have to do. So I am going to do it. I just made up my mind. I guess this is all part of my path. I'll keep you up to date on my progress. First things first. I have to step back. Take some time to myself. I need to pray and then shut up and listen. Then I'll work on my vision board. This will require some courage, strength and discipline on my part. I can do it though.
