During these trying days where do you get your strength? I have two profound resources. My faith is enough. I know God would neither leave me nor forsake me. At the same time my weaker side desires something tangible to pull from. Fortunately I have one of the strongest people I have ever encountered as a grandmother.
My grandparents met when in 1930 when my grandmother was only 5 years old. They remained best friends throughout childhood and married as young adults. They shared a fairy tale love story. While my grandfather served his country during WWII, my grandmother was a single parent living in the projects. Upon my grandfather’s return they had two more children. Granddaddy worked hard enough to move his family of five out of the projects and into a home in a new community. They eventually had a fourth child. Granddaddy continued to provide for his family as Granny stayed home to raise four children.
There was nothing Granny wanted that Granddaddy didn’t work to give her. Even after buying her a home, he wanted more for her. With his own bare hands he added onto their home, making it the largest and only 2-story home in the neighborhood. He even built her a lavish master suite with a vanity and large walk-in closet. He took great care of his family, sending all four children to college and allowing three of his granddaughters, including me to live with them.
It was only fitting when in 1999 Granddaddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s that Granny said she would single handedly care for him at home. At first Granddaddy’s progression was slow. Then one day it was as though he fell off of a cliff only to land softly on a tree branch. There he dangled for many years until meeting his end in 2009. For ten years Granny waited on Granddaddy hand and foot. She was tired. You couldn’t see it but you knew she had to be. To make matters worse Granny was diagnosed with breast cancer while tending to Granddaddy. Of course most of the children and grandchildren did what we could. Meanwhile Granny continued to persevere and take care of her best friend. Her best friend who had done his very best to fill her life with joy. Her best friend who despite his mind crippling disease NEVER forgot her. Not for a second.
Family members and friends would wonder why Granny insisted on taking on this task herself. Granddaddy was a veteran with benefits. Only in the later years did she accept help from a visiting nurse. Help that wasn’t even daily. Nope granny had to be the one to get up in the middle of the night when Granddaddy would wake up and start to wander. He had done things like lock himself in the upstairs bathroom and flood it only to have the ceiling leak into the laundry room below. He had wandered out of the house. He had turned on the stove and walked away. Meanwhile Granny was right behind him fixing it all. When he moved she moved.
While many were questioning why she, a small woman under 5ft who was by now in her 80’s was handling this, I was observing proudly. I remember how Granddaddy took care of Granny. I remember how full of joy their home, my home was. I knew that Granny wanted to take care of Granddaddy because he had taken such good care of her through the years. In addition she knew he would have done the same. It wasn’t out of obligation, mind you. Her tending to him was of her choosing. She WANTED to do this.
Granddaddy is gone now. It has been just over a year. When Granny talks about the last few years she always says she did it physically on her own but with help from GOD. She told me that every morning she’d get up and “say a little prayer.” She simply asked GOD for strength. That was her entire prayer and HE provided. Now she prays for strength for a different reason. You see although the person Granny knew Granddaddy to be was taken away by Alzheimer’s years ago, he still knew her. That allows her to keep a portion of him. Her best friend is completely gone now. Sure she has children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, other family and friends but none of us are Granddaddy.
I watch her in awe everyday. Awe of her strength to carry on despite loosing her husband of 67 years, and her best friend of 79 years. I know this is the most difficult thing my 85 year old Granny has ever been through. Yet she shows her 3 daughters, 7 granddaughters and 2 great-granddaughters how to be a strong lady. How to handle ourselves. When I lay in bed at night feeling horrible because I remain unemployed or because I have health issues, I think about Granny. Right now she is visiting. So I can look her in the face and realize the woman I can be. I thank GOD for a new beginning everyday. I may be 39 but it’s not too late to become the woman Granny is teaching me to be.
Thank you GOD for making Granny my grandmother. Thank you for placing me with such an impeccable woman. She is in me and I intend to be like her.
My grandparents met when in 1930 when my grandmother was only 5 years old. They remained best friends throughout childhood and married as young adults. They shared a fairy tale love story. While my grandfather served his country during WWII, my grandmother was a single parent living in the projects. Upon my grandfather’s return they had two more children. Granddaddy worked hard enough to move his family of five out of the projects and into a home in a new community. They eventually had a fourth child. Granddaddy continued to provide for his family as Granny stayed home to raise four children.
There was nothing Granny wanted that Granddaddy didn’t work to give her. Even after buying her a home, he wanted more for her. With his own bare hands he added onto their home, making it the largest and only 2-story home in the neighborhood. He even built her a lavish master suite with a vanity and large walk-in closet. He took great care of his family, sending all four children to college and allowing three of his granddaughters, including me to live with them.
It was only fitting when in 1999 Granddaddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s that Granny said she would single handedly care for him at home. At first Granddaddy’s progression was slow. Then one day it was as though he fell off of a cliff only to land softly on a tree branch. There he dangled for many years until meeting his end in 2009. For ten years Granny waited on Granddaddy hand and foot. She was tired. You couldn’t see it but you knew she had to be. To make matters worse Granny was diagnosed with breast cancer while tending to Granddaddy. Of course most of the children and grandchildren did what we could. Meanwhile Granny continued to persevere and take care of her best friend. Her best friend who had done his very best to fill her life with joy. Her best friend who despite his mind crippling disease NEVER forgot her. Not for a second.
Family members and friends would wonder why Granny insisted on taking on this task herself. Granddaddy was a veteran with benefits. Only in the later years did she accept help from a visiting nurse. Help that wasn’t even daily. Nope granny had to be the one to get up in the middle of the night when Granddaddy would wake up and start to wander. He had done things like lock himself in the upstairs bathroom and flood it only to have the ceiling leak into the laundry room below. He had wandered out of the house. He had turned on the stove and walked away. Meanwhile Granny was right behind him fixing it all. When he moved she moved.
While many were questioning why she, a small woman under 5ft who was by now in her 80’s was handling this, I was observing proudly. I remember how Granddaddy took care of Granny. I remember how full of joy their home, my home was. I knew that Granny wanted to take care of Granddaddy because he had taken such good care of her through the years. In addition she knew he would have done the same. It wasn’t out of obligation, mind you. Her tending to him was of her choosing. She WANTED to do this.
Granddaddy is gone now. It has been just over a year. When Granny talks about the last few years she always says she did it physically on her own but with help from GOD. She told me that every morning she’d get up and “say a little prayer.” She simply asked GOD for strength. That was her entire prayer and HE provided. Now she prays for strength for a different reason. You see although the person Granny knew Granddaddy to be was taken away by Alzheimer’s years ago, he still knew her. That allows her to keep a portion of him. Her best friend is completely gone now. Sure she has children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, other family and friends but none of us are Granddaddy.
I watch her in awe everyday. Awe of her strength to carry on despite loosing her husband of 67 years, and her best friend of 79 years. I know this is the most difficult thing my 85 year old Granny has ever been through. Yet she shows her 3 daughters, 7 granddaughters and 2 great-granddaughters how to be a strong lady. How to handle ourselves. When I lay in bed at night feeling horrible because I remain unemployed or because I have health issues, I think about Granny. Right now she is visiting. So I can look her in the face and realize the woman I can be. I thank GOD for a new beginning everyday. I may be 39 but it’s not too late to become the woman Granny is teaching me to be.
Thank you GOD for making Granny my grandmother. Thank you for placing me with such an impeccable woman. She is in me and I intend to be like her.
