I AM STRONGLY CONSIDERING RETURNING TO SHAVING MY HEAD.
Why? I know you didn't ask, but if you choose to read on, you obviously want to know the answer.
1.
I find that not all, of course, but many white women OBSESS about MY hair. My entire appearance really. Go ahead. Ask me questions. Just do not put yourself in a situation to possibly lose your fingers. DON'T EVER TOUCH MY HAIR.
I find that not all, of course, but many white women OBSESS about MY hair. My entire appearance really. Go ahead. Ask me questions. Just do not put yourself in a situation to possibly lose your fingers. DON'T EVER TOUCH MY HAIR.
It doesn't matter if I where my hair damn near bald, a fro, kinky curly, a natural looking wig, and OH! let's not forget the yarn locs, some white women obsess about my hair. They stare at me like a deer in headlights. They GRAB my hair. They pet the top of my head. When they leave my presence, they must spend their spare time thinking about me, my hair, and my appearance as a whole. They must spend time thinking up questions to ask or imagining how my hair feels. It's like I'm an animal at the frickin zoo. Maybe men do too, but they don't make comments in earshot, don't ask me questions, don't stare, and don't try to touch my hair. Only once did a man (white) walk up to me and tell me that my hair is my beauty and that by cutting it off, I had taken away my own beauty.
It's aggravating. DAMN!
"Having natural hair is political because it’s directly noncompliant with the gendered, racialized beauty standards that tell us having straight hair that lays down is ideal. It’s not easy having natural hair, not because natural hair itself is difficult or unruly, but because having natural hair in a white supremacy oftentimes feels like a battle." -Aphrodite Kocieda
2.
I didn't "go natural." I've been natural most of my adult life. I simply haven't cut my hair in nine months which has produced this short curly afro. I find myself unattractive when my fro becomes “unruly”. My hair isn't very coarse. So that thick-stay-in-place fro is eluding me. I find myself OBSESSING about how to style my hair to avoid the aggravation of being questioned. But also, I find myself falling victim to what society deems normal and beautiful even within this natural state. I've purchased all of these "natural hair products." Why the hell am I putting product in my natural hair? Is that natural? I should just wash my hair, pick it, and go. Shampoo should be product enough. I'm putting product in my hair because inside my noncompliance, I am trying to be compliant.
I didn't "go natural." I've been natural most of my adult life. I simply haven't cut my hair in nine months which has produced this short curly afro. I find myself unattractive when my fro becomes “unruly”. My hair isn't very coarse. So that thick-stay-in-place fro is eluding me. I find myself OBSESSING about how to style my hair to avoid the aggravation of being questioned. But also, I find myself falling victim to what society deems normal and beautiful even within this natural state. I've purchased all of these "natural hair products." Why the hell am I putting product in my natural hair? Is that natural? I should just wash my hair, pick it, and go. Shampoo should be product enough. I'm putting product in my hair because inside my noncompliance, I am trying to be compliant.
I didn't worry about that when I wore my hair VERY low, almost bald. My style was still a natural style and non-compliant for most women, white and black alike. It definitely was not society's ideal, but it was me, and I didn't OBSESS over how it looked. Sure I went to the barber to keep it neat. I like to be well groomed. But this natural thing has changed my focus. I focus on my hair as part of my being. I don't like it. I am beautiful without hair. With hair, I am trying to make myself beautiful by styling my hair in an acceptable way.
Sure I love being part of the natural hair movement. I can still be part of the natural movement without a product filled afro.
Sure I love being part of the natural hair movement. I can still be part of the natural movement without a product filled afro.
"Few women had received affirmation from family, friends, or lovers when choosing not to straighten their hair and we have many stories to tell about advice we receive from everyone, including total strangers, urging us to understand how much more attractive we would be if we would fix (straighten) our hair." – Bell Hooks
I will never "fix" my hair. Not into a relaxed style. Not into an acceptable natural style. I will do what I am comfortable with. Be it an unruly afro or a bald head. White women will OBSESS either why. I cannot control them. I can, however control myself. I can stop my own OBSESSION.
Today I will wash it, pick it, and go. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
